14.10.11

I am totally frustrated right now and i can't explain it.

Basically i know my issues, i've known for many many years, but i'm not willing to share them completely with my doctor, and i hate others trying to out do me on it when i was the one who expressed my concerns on it in the first place. And i hate when people question me on it, I think I know myself more than them. I don't think that makes sense, but i am quite tipsy. But anyway, it annoys me. Why am i any less? I think this is just part of the condition, I think way too much about what others think of me. Even when I'm driving I wonder what the people around me think of my driving. I hate when I change lanes because I think it's the fastest route and then my original lane goes quicker, I feel like everyone is laughing at me for making a poor choice. I think way too much and into things. Ugh.

I want to get wasted but we are saving money.

I don't feel stable without it.