I haven't actually learnt how to control my camera since coming into the digital age, but here's a little taste of the beginning of my learning.

28.02.12

Wooh, over 10,000 page views! I wish it would say how many of those were actual legit, judging from the "source" of a lot of them, most of them aren't. :P
Oh well.

I have had a throat infection for the past few days so i stopped taking my ADHD meds because i just wanted to sleep. I kept taking the anti anxiety, although i can't wait to have them changed. I started taking the ADHD meds again today and boy do i have energy! Have done about 5 loads of washing and cleaned the lounge room from top to bottom, which is good, because we have a property valuer coming through on Friday and the place is a disgrace. I haven't been at work the past 2 days which i feel a little bit guilty about but it was definitely needed, throat was so sore and i had no energy.. I slept for the majority of the day and for 14-16 hours at night. Finally starting to feel alright now, so i'm going to my second job tonight. I'm training a new kid so i have to go whether i like it or not.

I'm feeling much more positive about the meds now, i can still be myself on them whilst having a bit more focus, looking forward to the results when my dosage is upped and my anti anxiety meds are changed. I've been able to sleep fine and i'm eating relatively the same as normal, not many side effects which is a good thing.

R finally heard back from the company after he called them, they said he should be receiving a letter of offer in the post soon, a big relief after not knowing if he actually had it or not. It will be an even bigger relief when he can sign on the dotted line.

And now time for more cleaning..

First Impressions.

Started the dex on Wednesday morning. It definitely had an affect on me, i was quieter and less fidgety, but i wouldn't say more focussed. It amplified my restless leg syndrome that the anti-anxiety medication was giving me, so i felt very uncomfortable and slightly more anxious than normal. I am going to be changing to a different type at a higher strength, but he's keeping me on this for a meantime. I will definitely request that he changes me at my next appointment, if he doesn't, i will stop taking them myself.
Wednesday i had a really sore throat so i stayed home and didnt have any of my medication. I forgot, to be honest, remembered about 5pm, so had my last dosage and went to sleep.
Today i still felt crappy. I felt quiet and less fidgety again, but now it's almost time for my last dosage, and i'm extremely fidgety and not feeling motivated in the slightest.

I've been started on a 20mg p/day dosage, 1 x 5mg 4 times per day. 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm.
Thankfully i sleep fine on them, unfortunately it's not suppressing my hunger as much as i hoped it would :p
I'm not really getting feelings of hunger, but i am still needing to eat regularly.
I'm going up to 40mg, so 10mg per dose, the Tuesday after next.. That is generally an adult dosage, but if it doesn't give the desired effect, i have approval to go up to 70mg p/day, something tells me that i'll be at the higher end of dosage. That said, i don't like being a zombie, and if it does that to me, i will reduce my dosage, or stop, on the weekends. I enjoy being hyperactive, loud and crazy, but i need to be able to focus at work or when doing things that are important, such as sorting out my life :P

Time will tell, i suppose.

I'm working tonight, really can't be bothered.. where all this excess energy and motivation the doctor told me i'd get? Lame.

21.02.12

I bet you've all been hanging out to see how i went, right??! Lol. Or not.
But anyway, i was far too exhausted to write an entry last night, so here goes..

Didn't get a lot of sleep over the weekend, woke up stupidly tired, I had to go with R to work because we still only have 1 working car, he starts at 7:30am. I took to car to medicare and got my rebate for the psych appointment and then headed to the GP. He told me the authority still wasn't back (despite me having called on Saturday and told it was there), in fact, it hadn't even been sent away. It didn't come back until this morning so i haven't had the chance to start it.. Tomorrows entry will be a bit more informative in that department.

Today i decided to have a "fat" day since one of the side effects of the medication is a loss of appetite. Bacon and egg sandwich for breaky, full strenth red bulls (which were a bad choice by the way), lunch was a healthy frozen meal.. But i made up for it at dinner with lots of stuff from the fish and chip shop.

R passed his medical which is excellent! He still hasn't heard back from the company yet so he's a bit nervous about it all. I'm sure he'll be fine and it's still his but until he signs on the dotted line there's a bit of uncertainty.. He's also being very grumpy and mean to me, ugh. I'm just trying to stay out of his way.

Need to wash my hair but totally cannot be bothered.. Maybe tomorrow.. I have lots of things planned for then, I need to make a list!

19.02.12

I have so much to say, but this has left me speechless;

Two more days until my world changes.

The last few days have been more frustrating than i anticipated. I attempted to get my appointment pushed back to today so i could start the medication on a weekend, that way it wouldn't matter as much if i struggled to get to sleep and i could have a few days to get used to the change before starting work. Unfortunately my doctor was booked out until late next week so i had to stick to my Monday morning appointment. For some unknown reason i've been extremely agitated and unfocussed, let's hope that Monday brings about a change.

Two more days until my world changes forever.

15.02.12 part III

Ahh, how did i forget to mention this? R has been meaning to look for another job for well over a year, but he wanted to finish his apprenticeship, and then when he did he wanted to get his electrical licence, anyway, long story short, he put it off for ages. He finally applied for a pretty big job, excellent pay, brand new car, phone, uniform, petrol, tools, overtime.. He applied, got an interview and it went really well. He didn't hear anything for a month and we were starting to get a little disheartened, AND THEN, he got a call saying that pending a medical, it was his! So he has the medical on Monday and hopefully he definitely does have the position because he's quit his current job!
Excitement plus!

15.02.12 part II

Saw Dr. J today for the first time, a psychiatrist, I had to see him almost as a formality as Dr C, my GP, had basically already told me that I have ADHD. I needed the Dr J to confirm the diagnosis and give the authority to start treatment on stimulants, which he did. On Monday I go back to Dr C who will talk me through the different kinds and he will probably trial me on both to see which is more effective. I will see Dr C every 3 months and Dr J once a year.

Dr J suggested that I might need to change my anxiety medication due to a few side effects that haven't improved, but he said to see how I go on the stimulants first.

What an amazing thing to finally be over the line! I made it, it took a lot of perseverance, courage and many hours sifting through forums and reports online to get me where I am, but it was all worth it. :)

15.02.12

Today is the day of my big appointment.. i am nervous but i don't get the usual pangs of anxiety in my stomach that i'd normally get, i put that down to the medication. Will report back tonight on how it goes.

13.02.12

People think i'm crazy for working my part time job as well as my full time one, but honestly, i really enjoy the part time job. Firstly i get to socialise with my sister, secondly, i get to have a laugh, and thirdly, for some strange reason i get satisfaction out of having a set list of things to do and getting them done and completed. I don't always get everything done in the time that i've got, but i always try to do the best close i can, and i often get comments from managers and other staff that i'm the only front person that knows what they're doing. I think i enjoy the positive feedback because it's something i'm actually good at and can finish, unlike most things in my life.
Most of the kids stand around reading the paper or talking, even when i ask them to do simple tasks, normally it doesn't bother me but tonight it did because the kid kept getting in my way. I am not often focused so when i get on a roll, i get very annoyed when i'm interupted by someone/something, and this kid was pushing my buttons. Anyhow, i managed to "mhmm" and nod enough to get me to 11pm, thank god! Longest hour of my life.

My feet are sore but i'm wide awake, winding down with a glass of wine, see you all tomorrow!

(Does anyone even read this anymore?)

12.02.12

Sunday night is coming to an end and i can happily report that i had an enjoyable weekend.

I worked Friday night so by the time i got home, R was asleep and i wasn't far away.

Slept in a bit more than normal on Saturday, and woke up excited about the possibility of purchasing a DSLR as a late birthday present from my wonderful fiancé.

Went to the shopping centre and compared prices, ended up settling on the Pentax K-r.

I'm not a fan of Cannon and despite there being one with $300+ off the original price, i still couldn't cross that line.

My original love of photography stemmed from a Pentax film camera so it felt right to get another from the same brand in the digital world.

Needless to say, i love it!

Saturday night i went to my managers house for pre drinks to her birthday dinner. We got picked up and went a couple of suburbs away to eat Indian, it was delightful and cheap.

After this we headed back to Kristy's but no one wanted to go out, except for Kristy and i! So i called up my parents who were on their way home from my sisters house, they picked us up and dropped us off. We drank and sang and had a great time..I'm not sure if it was the alcohol or the anti-anxiety meds that i'm on, but normally i'd be pining for home and for R, but i was fine, amazing!

And now i'm falling asleep...Will edit and finish this later..

Alrighty, so where was I?
So the new medication seems to be working great for my anxiety issues, however, it still makes me overly fidgety and when I forget to take it in the morning and have it close to bedtime, I'm wide awake for hours. Thankfully this has only happened twice so it shouldn't have much of an affect on me. I am definitely wondering how I'll go sleeping once I get the stimulant medication, but I'm sure I'll get used to it.

Psych appointment is getting very close, amazingly im not even nervous :)

Roxy.

My brothers puppy, Roxy.

my new love!

My new toy!
I am so excited, you have no idea!
10 years ago I discovered my love for photography with a Pentax K1000 film camera. Unfortunately the digital age was upon us and I fell behind due to expense. This is just an entry level camera, but it's all I need right now and I am stupidly happy, you can't wipe the smile off my face! <3

09.02.12

I am such a procrastinator.
That is all.

07.02.12

Ugh, i feel so fat.
The guys at work are being really health concious and i'm trying but i'm not trying very hard. :P
I have no self control when it comes to this sort of thing.. I've always been this way except back in the old day i could eat and drink as much as i liked i was always skinny. That said, i'm not overweight, i'm just 10kg heavier than i want to be. Bring on 55kg! (I just wish i didn't have to do anything to get to that point).

8 days until my psych appointment.. Normally i'd be anxious and dreading it, but i'm calm and actually looking forward to it. Is it the pills i'm on? I haven't noticed any difference emotionally yet but they are designed to ease my anxiety.. Or is it because i know that all the evidence is being presented to him on a silver platter and there's almost no chance that he'll laugh in my face like the last.

I'm doing so badly at work lately that i can't wait to be at the top of my game and show them all how good i can be! Yesterday i slept for 17 hours.. then woke up and felt like crap all day. Thankfully today i felt better and went to work, can't say i was very productive though.

Anyhow, that's enough negativity for tonight.

<3

02.02.12

Oh boy have there been side effects.
Within about 30 mins of taking the first dosage, i started feeling really dizzy which progressed onto feeling really odd, extremely restless is the best way to describe it. That night i also got nausea, sweats, dry mouth, headache and last but not least, insomnia.
Work on Tuesday sucked, i felt so sick and dizzy that i had to cancel my shift at my second job in the afternoon.
Wednesday i felt a bit better and thought my body was starting to get used to it, aaaand then i woke up this morning. I could have vommed on the spot. I had to stop several times and force myself not to vomit. I almost didn't go to work but i assumed that i would probably start to feel better soon enough. True to form the symptoms lessened, but then came back again just as bad, and so on, so forth through the day.
A headache set in a few hours ago and with that came the vertigo..
Another thing i've been getting is being really hungry but not being able to eat, it sucks!
WHEN WILL THIS END?

I'm giving it a go because i know that it will be good for me in the long run, but right now i am getting all the side effects and none of the good effects. :(

Work is stressful too.. I managed to catch up somewhat but everyday i'm falling behind and i don't like it. Bring on the ADHD medication, hopefully i can focus and actually get my work done!

And now my day of healthy eating is being ruined by a nice yummy dinner of chips with gravy, yum!