31.01.11

Another excellent appointment, it finally feels like they're worth my time and money!

My first appointment was in the morning and i was almost late. It was with a mental health nurse and she basically took a chronological account of my life.. I felt pretty uncomfortable in there, i prefer people to prompt me but it felt like she wanted me to tell her the things she wanted to know, rather than probe me for information. I go very quiet in situations that make me feel uneasy so i don't know if i said everything that i wanted to.

Anyhow, afterwards was my appointment with my GP. He had had me take a questionnaire that tailors the questions depending on your previous answers and from that it sends an analysis to which ever doctor recommended the test be taken. So my results were quite thorough and a little surprising. It suggested a possible bi-polar disorder but after discussing it further he dismissed that based on my up phases not being quite at the euphoric stage and my lack of depressed phases. I apparently have 2 severe anxiety disorders and 2 mild anxiety disorders. Oh, and i scored an A+ in the ADHD section. LOL. So he's started me on anti anxiety medication. He said there might be side effects, and boy were there side effects! Dizziness, nausea, headache, dry mouth, sweats and insomnia.. Let's just say that the past two days have been painful. :(
He said it should ease up in a couple of days so i just have to put up with the pain. If i didn't have the anxiety worked out by the time i get put onto the ADHD medication, it could make it a whole lot worse. I love how thorough my GP is being, it's great! 15 days until my psych appointment so just enough time to get used to this first lot of medication.

Wow, i'm almost in disbelief over the wonderful treatment i'm receiving now in comparison to a few months ago. :)

Jaibaby

This dog is my life.
I love him so much and he helps me more than he will ever know.

27.01.12

GREAT NEWS! I've found a doctor that is willing to help me. I was anxious going in but pretty soon he calmed my nerves and by the end he'd given me a plan for the next few weeks.
I had to do an online questionaire thingy and the results get sent to my doctor.
On Monday i'm going to see the mental health nurse at his clinic who goes through my entire history and writes up her findings in a report for my doctor. Then straight after i see my doctor who uses both results to write a letter to the psychiatrist.. of which i've booked for the 15th of next month. I could have seen him sooner if we had the funds but unfortunately i'm poor!

So yeah, i'm very relieved and looking forward to the future.

Had a BBQ at our house for Australia Day, wanted to get a pool but they were sold out everywhere, so we got water bombs instead. Turned out to be a beautiful day, cooked up a feast and drank a few beers, enjoyed the sunshine. :)
Went to bed relatively early considering, missed a big chunk of the night but woke up feeling great, unlike R who was a little worse for wear :P
Thankfully we took today and Monday off.. I keep forgetting that it's only Friday.. Not sure if i'm going to do anything after work, R's at a friends house for a few drinks so i might go round there, depending on how i feel.

I'm babysitting the twins on Sunday and i've got my doctors appointments on Monday, so tonight is the only real night for doing anything. BEACH tomorrow, can't wait. :)

19.01.12

Loving my new diary.. why have i never bothered with one before? Probably because i've always forgot to get one at the beginning of the new year and subsequently couldn't start one half way through the year because i wouldn't like the first half being empty! Strange? Yes. But that's me. :p

Soooo tomorrow night i've got kareoke with some old school friends in the city, won't be out too late as i've got to get up in the morning for a shopping date with a work collegue. Then i'm working on Saturday night at my second job, (although i won't be if my sister doesn't organise my meeting with her boss this afternoon!) i finish at 1am so i can still do something if i want, i'll just have to have a nap on Saturday arvo so i can stay awake longer on Saturday night.

The following Tuesday i'm doing (attempting!) the 1000 steps with D, looking forward to it, have never done it so hopefully i don't die. :P

Next week i have a "pact" with my work friend that i won't drink for the entire week, but then i rememebered Australia Day, and i was given an exemption, haha. But i am pretty sure that i will fail, i'd be happy to do 3-4 days, BUT A WHOLE SIX DAYS? That's redonculous.

Anyhow's i've also been setting reminders in my phone for things like "wash my hair" and it's actually helping me to remember to do things, so as long as i don't procrastinate, i'm getting things done.

Horray for processes working.

16.01.12

Left work early today to make it to my GP appointment at a clinic in the inner city suburbs. It was soooo hot and my air con definitely does not work when it's that hot.. Window down, tunes blaring, i was nervous and feeling quite unprepared (I don't know what i need to do to feel prepared for an appointment such as this but that's how i felt.) Got a bit lost, stressed out, found a park, found the clinic, walked in, and the girl didn't seem very confident when i stated my name and who i was there to see. Turns out that the day that i booked my appointment was the same day that their systems crashed and wiped out all bookings made that day. Woohoo. my appointment no longer existed. I'd taken time off work and driven through the heat for nothing. Oh well, i took it in my stride due to it not being their fault.
I'm not sure if i posted about this but i'm not going to be working a second job with my sister at a fast food outlet. She is the manager and she needs experienced staff to cover shifts and train staff.. I'm experienced and i enjoyed working there when i was younger.. They're also very flexible and can work around my availabilities quite easily. Fingers crossed every cent i earn from there can go toward the WA fund which is currently quite bare.
Anyhow, going back to this afternoon.. My sis called me to ask if i can switch my Wednesday meeting with her boss to this afternoon, i said "sure, book me in for 6:30" to fit in with my appointment.. The catch? Despite having my license, i need my birth certificate.. After my appointment being cancelled i got home early, searched the house for my B/C but could not find it anywhere.. Thankfully she cancelled, here's hoping i can find it by Wednesday.... Knowing my luck, i won't be able to. Surely my license should be more than enough??

Back on my eating healthy bandwagon, and D and i are going to go to the solarium.. Hopefully i'll be looking good by the time the real beach weather hits! (If that ever happens)

12.01.12

Finally can afford to book in with the GP that was recommended to me due to his interest in adult ADHD. It's quite an expensive appointment for a GP which is why I've had to wait until pay day.. If I get referred onto a psych I'll have to wait another month to see him/her.. Damn the frustrations of money! But anyway, I'm glad it's booked.

Today = hyper hyper, ugh.

alcohol.

My biggest weakness.

Usually I use it to put me to sleep, put me out of my hyperactive state.. I don't like to admit it, but I do this far too often. But on occasion it makes me far more hyperactive than normal, and I feel like everything's on the run, it's fun, until it all comes crashing down. What does this mean? I don't know, but I'm certainly making a misery out of my life right now. I hope that I can find someone to help me. For the past 3 years I've finally found exactly what is wrong with me, but now I struggle to find someone to help me, whilst those around me doubt my intentions, it's very upsetting and makes life extremely difficult and disheartening. It would be nice to have people take me seriously and realise that I might just know what I'm on about.
I've made life difficult for myself but I at least look it dead in the face and fight it every step of the way.

05.01.11

I got my "referral" today in the mail. It was pretty disheartening, made me feel similar to how i felt when i walked out of his assessment. Basically told me that i showed many symptoms of adult ADHD but he didn't see any symptoms from when i was under 7.. strange, he didn't even ask me about my life when i was young, so how could he know that? It then repeats his concern with prescribing adults with psychostimulants but ends with wishing me all the best in finding a psychiatrist who will treat my disorder. LAME. Ugh. He infuriates me so much.

In happier news, R and i have been getting along famously. It's a pleasant change after the stressful month known as "Christmas". I look forward to seeing him all day and can't stop thinking about him and smiling. He even sends me texts and calls at lunch. It's lovely. :)

Tomorrow night we're staying in and watching movies. We've had the spare bed set up in the lounge since the stupidly hot days over new years so we can snuggle up on it and watch them. :)

Happy Thursday night peeps!

2012

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

It has been a busy few weeks since i was last able to update this thing.

Just had a look and i'm not sure why but my last entry is actually an old one, so please excuse that.

After feeling the disappointment of the psychiatric assessment, i decided to do my own research and attempt to find a doctor that would help me. I googled around for a bit until i found a support group for people in Melbourne. The people on there meet up once a month and they all have some great ideas on how to live with our condition. From what i've seen, they all agree that medication is necessary in most cases, but treatment shouldn't end there. So while i persue the doctor avenue, i am trying a variety of other things to help me cope. I have started writing everything down that i need to do and slowly, but surely, i can tick it off. That said, i haven't ticked anything off just yet, but at least i did the writing it down part. :P

Went to see someone i met through the support group last week and he gave me the name of a GP to see and two possible psychs to try and get referrals for. Was refreshing to speak to someone with a clue and it's inspiring to hear what he's trying to do for people like me.

One big thing that i want to achieve this year is to cut back on beer and start exercising. I say this with a grain of salt because i have failed at this many times before. I will start off small and go from there.

Another thing i want to do is to write up a cleaning/chore roster (it's on my list of things to do!). I am sick of the house being a pigsty and R not doing anything to help me. I think this will be a great way for BOTH OF US to keep on top of things since we're probably as bad as each other.

Backtracking a bit, Christmas was lovely. Spent Christmas Eve Eve at my parents having an early Christmas due to my sister, her husband and their twins going to New Zealand the following day. We were meant to have it at their house but Dad has had complications after an operation and had to go back into hospital on the Thursday. Thankfully his operation was postponed and he was able to come home for our early Christmas. We got there and jumped straight in the pool, it was god damn hot! Then ate dinner with the fam. All the siblings/partners/children were there except for my older sister and her daughter because they live in Queensland and couldn't make it down. Had a great time but fell asleep on the couch rather early. R and my brother S kept the party alive until midnightish, R and i stayed in my little sisters room and she slept on the couch. Went home in the morning, got everything ready to go away and then i drove to Sale. Spent the night at R's Mums house, caught up with his sister S whom we hadn't really seen much of since she got back from England a few months back. Played a game of "Sorry" and then went to bed rather early. Had Christmas lunch at his Mum's and then drove out to Briagalong (middle of no where...) to see his Dad. By now there was a serious storm brewing. Melbourne had recieved massive hail stones that destroyed cars.. it is safe to say that i was extremely stressed about my poor baby boy J. We had to leave him at home for 2 whole night. My sister K was coming to feed him later in the night but until i knew he was safe, i couldn't relax. R got his Aunty to check on him since she lives around the corner. He was fine, just a bit hungry, so she fed him for us. :)
Left his Dad's the next morning with R driving. I was exhausted but not as homesick and i normally get, which is a big step up i suppose.

Had everyone over for a BBQ on Boxing Day, our friend C was over from Perth so it was a great excuse to catch up. Everyone stayed and i had an awesome time, hope everyone else did too. :)

R and i both had to work between Christmas and New Years, something we hadn't done before, LAME! Work was busy and stressful, i am so not dealing well with it at the moment.

New Years was spent at a friend's house in Berwick. They have a pool, BBQ and eskys so it was a lovely evening spent swimming, drinking and eating. Fell asleep around 4am, woke up at 10am with bacon and eggs waiting for me. Had another swim and accidentally fell asleep again shortly after lunch. Woke up at 5pm, went upstairs, and accidentally fell asleep yet again.. haha. Woke up 7:30pm and R and i went home. All that sleeping had left me wide awake so i spent last night bored. Fell asleep around midnight and slept until almost midday today! I must have been tired.

Hoping that this week is better at work, my brain is about to explode from all the stress that it's giving me lately.

Hope you all had a wonderful festive season.

Over and out. <3