29.11.11

After all the stress of the months leading up to my psych assessment, they freaking cancelled on me! Two hours before it was due to start no less. I had taken the day off because it is a pretty big deal for me, i took it off unpaid because i'd had so many other days off due to appointments and various things.. So i was understandably upset when i got the call. Needless to say i completely over reacted and was fairly rude so i'm a little apprehensive about going back. To make matters worse, it was their fault that it had to be cancelled.. Originally i was booked in for a late morning appointment but they cancelled that a few days prior to the day, i asked if i could get in on the same day with a different doctor, to which they said yes, and booked for late afternoon. Apparently they need a longer appointment than what they'd booked in, but i was adamant that the doctor should stay back and commit to the appointment anyway. *sigh*
Anyway, i had to suck it up and deal with it.. Now booked for next Tuesday.

I'm mentally drained right now.. work is stressful on top of all of this, and so is life in general.

19.11.11

It is REALLY frustrating that i cannot do one thing at a time.. Like right now, i've tried to sit down and have a Big Bang Theory marathon but i couldn't JUST do that.. Firstly i started cleaning, then i played with my phone, then did some more cleaning, then the phone, then straightened my hair, then thought about food despite not being hungry, then put on a load of washing, then jumped on the computer and now here i am, writing this, attempting to watch TV and over the top of this, i keep clicking buttons on my phone and then realising what i'm doing.. FUCK. It annoys me so much. Then comes the part where i cannot sit still without fidgeting.. even my GP commented on it at my appointment recently. She said, "Why do you think you have ADHD? Besides the fact that you haven't stopped moving since you got in here.." She was great by the way, it's amazing the difference a good doctor has on your experience.. She talked me through the process of being assessed by a psych registrar and then leading onto another assessment by a different psychiatrist, and what would happen if i got diagnosed.. I mean, she didn't really tell me anything knew, except that it's really really hard to get a diagnosis of Adult ADHD because of the drugs being "speed", her words. Anyhow, i have my assessment on Friday, extremely nervous, it's taken me 10 years to get to where i am, and finally i might have an answer and a solution! But it's also a huge relief.. well it will be when i hear what i want to hear, i think i'm mostly scared that they'll say that i'm faking it.. I know that i'm not, i've been researching this for coming up 3 years, and there's nothing else that quite fits my symptoms.

Anyway. Tonight i don't plan on doing much.. It's raining and i have no motivation to do much more than a couple of loads of washing. Today we went on a bit of a spending spree and i bought a new bag.. my first ever real bag, makes me feel like i'm growing up.. it's about time, i'm almost 25! Also bought a wireless keyboard and mouse for when i plug the laptop into the tv, and a couple of blu ray movies.. I'll probably never watch them, but i like to own them :P

17.11.11

I promised a blog entry tonight but unfortunately R is really really sick so i'm going to have to postpone.. Didn't get a single thing done on my list tonight except for "drink beer", and even then i had to be careful in case i had to rush R to the hospital.

Talk soon <3

08.11.11

Wow, November already? Time is flying!

Our engagement party was on the weekend.. I can safely say that i was totally unprepared and disorganised.. I also spent most of the evening in a state of utter stress. I did enjoy myself but not half as much as i expected to.. i guess it's hard when you're the host because you need to worry about everyone having a good time and everything running smoothly.. R started drinking at 9am and didn't stop.. He drank at least a slab plus shots so i didn't really have his help. I wanted to serve finger food until about 8:30pm to give time for people to get there, and then serve the meat and salads. Unfortunately it didn't work out that way, but whatever, it's over now and everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves and that's the main thing. We also have a fuck load of meat leftover that will definitely require people to come over to help us eat. :P

Today i had my 6th appointment with my psychologist, we shall call her C. This means that we had to review how i was going and plan the next steps. I now have a GP appointment on the 16th which is necessary to continue getting the cheap sessions with C, I then have a psychiatrist appointment on the 25th to assess me and give me a diagnosis, and then i have another appointment with C on the 6th of December. So many appointments BUT at least the GP and psychiatrist are free, and the appointments with C are only $35 after my medicare rebate. C tried to tell me that they don't diagnose ADHD in adults but since i know several people that have been, i find that very hard to believe.. She is a psychologist and not a psychiatrist so i imagine she just doesn't have much information on the subject since it's a condition that can't be treated through simply talking. Anyhow, i wish that i could have got appointments sooner but that's just the way it is. I didn't have a lot to tell her today but i have been keeping a diary of my behaviours that have annoyed me so i gave her a copy of that, hopefully it helps with her letter to the shrink.

Now back to everyday life, my house is still a pigsty and i CBF doing much about it.. Done 3 loads of washing and 2 loads of dishes.. The rest can wait.

I like comments by the way.
Just saying. ;)